4-Day Pass

Those of you familiar with the military know that these 3 little words are music to our ears, but can also be ripped from us without warning!!  We have been hoping that Brian's 4-day pass would fall around Thanksgiving, but not even sure if he would get a 4-day pass.  A couple of weeks ago, Brian thought his pass may come the week after Thanksgiving, but then last week, he was pretty sure he would be home for Thanksgiving.  Am I surprised it changed . . . . . . . . Heavens NO, we've been with the Army way too long to write ANYTHING in PEN!!!  Right ladies?!?!?!

In some ways, I'm glad that we will get to spend one last holiday with him, but in other ways I'm already stressing.  Holidays are a great time to get with our families, share wonderful memories, and eat some good home-cooked meals, BUT they also bring with them stress, time crunches, tired-cranky kids, hurt feelings and most of the time -  - - - sickness!!  The stress is compounded even more this year with everyone wanting to get their "last supper" with Brian. 

We appreciate everyone that wants to step out and wish him well, but we also need to spend our last moments quietly reflecting on our family and our blessings, especially our two most important blessings, Ainsley and Brogan.  Brian and I have decided that we are going to spend our last few days as a family as just that ---as a family with the four of us.  We are going to huddle up in our home and spend time laughing with one another, recalling great memories of the past and making new memories to last into the future.  I can't wait to just be together for 4 days!  I hope that time is on our side and allows us the time we need to prepare. 

I think it's much harder to prepare this time . . . .  for all of us.  Last deployment, Brian and I knew that . . . a year was a long-time to tell your love goodbye.  We didn't know . . . .that a year was actually 365 days, there would be trials that would arise that we never even imagined, that a missed call from your spouse would literally bring you to your knees in tears, and most importantly that a reunion was filled with more emotions than your heart, mind and soul could ever imagine!  This time, we know ALL those things!  We remember EVERYTHING.

Ainsley is also 6 years older this time.  Last time, she just told Daddy goodbye like she did every day when he left for work or to run to the grocery store.  When people would ask her where Daddy was she would say "oooowait" for Kuwait.  She would only cry for him when she got in trouble from Mommy.  Sometimes she wouldn't even talk to him on the phone, she had better things to do, like play with Chloe or pester Timber.  But this time she knows it's not just goodbye like when Daddy goes to work, she understands the dangers that come with war, she realizes just how much she is going to miss her Daddy---- and this breaks our hearts even more.

On the other hand, Brogan is still young enough that he doesn't fully understand all the chaos and goodbyes that are going on.  He likes to call Daddy on the phone and sing to him, but for now, he thinks it might just be ok with out Daddy (there's lots more room in the bed without him snoring beside us!!  LOL).  I think Brogan will be like Ainsley was and won't realize the "time componet" until Daddy comes home.  Then he will realize that Daddy was gone for a LONG TIME and won't want to go to sleep for fear Daddy is leaving in the wee-hours of the morning.

So today, I am thankful for those three, sweet words "4-Day Pass".  I am thankful for the memories we will get to make and the time we will spend together on our 4-Day pass.  And, I am thankful to our family and friends who understand that this is our 4-day pass.  Thank you for understanding that we need to be together during this time of transition and goodbyes.  We hope you keep us in your thoughts and prayers as you spend time this Thanksgiving with your family.  Many blessings to all of you!!